Zip Lining For Turkey

Last year in my post "Trotting for Turkey," I wrote about running in a 5K every Thanksgiving with my husband, Dan, who is less than enthusiastic about running but still beats me every time.

This year, my indifferent husband and I received an e-mail after registering for the race, claiming that the event would "have a few new, fun twists including carrying a turkey and riding a zip line."

Each participant will receive a duffel bag with the event logo. Several frozen turkeys will be placed along the route. Runners and walkers who find and manage to carry them to the finish line are welcome to keep them. The race will end at the Challenge Course where participants will sail to a finish on the course’s zip line.

First of all, if you remember from "Trotting for Turkey," Dan and I rarely make it there in time to get the free swag, and even though they promise they will mail it to us, we have yet to receive several articles of Turkey-Trot-logo-imprinted clothing. So the duffel bag is in the mail . . . apparently.

But the "new, fun twist" that really didn't sound much fun to me, the acrophobic mountain biker, was "sailing to a finish" on a zip line.

"I'm sure it will be optional," my dad said in an e-mail.

"I think I'll pass on that option," I replied.

Dad: "Thought you might. What about Dan?"

Me: "Yeah, Dan. What about you?"

Dan: "I'll probably try it."

Me: "Just don't die."
 
In fact, not very many people opted to zip line which had probably less to do with serious cases of acrophobia and more to do with it being quite a process to prepare for a zip line, and no one wanted to stand out in the cold that long.

First, Dan had to sign his life away, and I had to sign as his witness—not the most comforting thing in the world.

Then, he had to "gird his loins" in some weird-looking harness. One of the course workers told him to make sure his furniture was in the right place.

He put on a helmet and was finally ready . . . to stand in line for about sixty minutes. And there were only about eight people in front of him.

Some of the other people in front of Dan had to be coaxed up to the platform, a set of two-by-fours held together by a few nails here and there. Dan, on the other hand, shimmied up the pole with no problem at all—like Nightcrawler from X-Men—and flew down the line, smiling . . . but not too big.

Calm and collected Dan wouldn't want to show too much enthusiasm for something now, would he?

Of course, not everyone had such a zen reaction to Dan's zip lining adventure, as you will hear in the video below. Just remember he is married to an acrophobe after all.

Dan The Zip Lining Machine

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