In Becky's Words: January 2020

Saturday, January 25, 2020

No More Road Raging . . . Sigh . . .

Many years ago, this pacifist occasionally got a little rage-y behind the wheel. I got less so as I matured. Now, in middle age, I am proud to say I have officially mellowed out.

I didn't have a choice. Road rage doesn’t work anymore now that people are on their phones all the time.

Dear driver,
You’re not good at texting and driving. No one is. That is all.
Signed,
Someone sick of hearing people say, "But I know how to text and drive better than other people."

I occasionally try to shoot drivers dirty looks if I don't approve of something, but that just amounts to me looking like a crotchety old woman.

Of course, no one pays attention to me anymore.

Take the other night, for instance. I was tired of seeing this girl glance down at her phone while driving behind me. I finally got my chance to stare her down when she pulled up beside me at the next traffic light.

When she did finally look up from her phone, instead of feeling my eyes burning into her skull, she turned and vaped out the driver's side window, not even noticing my subtle displeasure.

On my Friday night commute, people kept squeezing their Hummers and Range Rovers in front of my poor little Hybrid. I tried to send them dirty look vibes through my windshield, but I think their attention was monopolized by all of the gadgets on their dash.

Whatever happened to the old days when you could mouth angry things at the guy tailing you? And he would pull up beside you and try to yell at you, and you would point to your ear and mouth, “I can’t hear you!” And he would throw trash out the window at you (because apparently, he has trash in his truck and doesn’t care about littering). And that evening, when you told your husband about the incident, he worried that you might get yourself shot because “This is Idaho, after all.”

Now, the dude in the truck has a phone in his hand, and he's not going to throw that at you. He isn't paying attention anyway.

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

What's Your Secret?

Back in December, my husband, Dan, was grocery shopping and somehow got into a conversation with the cashier. If you know my husband at all, you will understand why Dan "getting into a conversation" with anyone is a revelatory event.

But get into a conversation he did, and during the course of this small talk, he mentioned that we would soon celebrate our sixteen-year anniversary.

"What's your secret?" the clerk asked.

"What did you tell her?" I asked Dan later that evening.

"I don't know."

"You should have said, 'Well, I'm doing the groceries for my wife.'"

I was only half joking. During the holidays, when I'm running from winter program to music gig to Christmas concert, the fact that my husband grocery shops is a big deal.

Also, he wraps all our Christmas gifts, partly because I don't have time, but mostly because I am pretty awful at it.

This year, I didn't decorate for the holidays once again. I think Dan felt sorry for the lack of festivity in our house. I came home from work one day to find our living room decorated with stockings, our snowmen woodcarving, a "Merry Christmas" sign, and a live wreath on our front door.

I guess what I'm saying is, if you want to be married for a long time, help out your wife.

We don't have kids of our own either. I don't mean to say children make marriage harder. They are just another variable. Dan and I have less variables than most in our marriage.

We do have the cutest nephews though, and we're more than happy those variables came into our lives.

Other times, Dan surprises me.

Like this year when I said my former student was dancing in The Nutcracker again, he responded with, "I kind of like The Nutcracker."

So my husband willingly spent the evening at the ballet with me.

Dan didn't get me a Peloton Bike (#popculturereference) for our anniversary and imply something awful along the lines of "exercise more" or "lose weight." Instead, I received an anthology of Jane Austen's novels for our sweet sixteen.

I do nice things too. Dan's gift was a Nintendo Switch with Luigi’s Mansion 3. (It doesn't hurt that he can play this while I’m pursuing my theater hobby.)

We had dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant, the same restaurant he took me the night he proposed. I got carded during dinner, and that didn't hurt my spirits either.

Then we saw Star Wars! All of the new iterations have been coming out around our anniversary. Perfect timing!

The next morning, Dan said, "I already want to see it again."

Instead, we ran in the Christmas Fun Run with my school group, another fun anniversary tradition of ours.

We did see Star Wars a second time a few days later during our trip to Sun Valley. We are totally the Star Wars generation.

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan.

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Becky's Eighteen-Book Challenge 2019

You might remember from a few years ago that my Eighteen-Book Challenge began as a Twenty-Book Challenge. I had to revise this in 2017 when it became apparent that reading twenty books was not in my future. This year, I set my goal at eighteen to begin with, and I felt much less like a failure.

I did set my goal at twenty for 2020. I mean, who can resist the idea of twenty books in 2020? I had better get strategic in my reading next year!

Becky's 2019 Eighteen-Book Challenge

JANUARY
Ozma of Oz by L. Frank Baum
Notes and Favorites: Reading this as an adult, I enjoy the political allegory in the Oz books. Nice work, L. Frank Baum . . .

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Notes and Favorites: This was such a good read. Eleanor is a quirky and endearing protagonist. I was sorry to say goodbye to her.

FEBRUARY
Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel
Notes and Favorites: This story has a little bit of everything, sci-fi, apocalypse, comic books, human connection stories, a love for theater and music. If you enjoy TV shows like Lost or longed for The Walking Dead minus the zombie shit, this book is for you!

MARCH
Into the Water by Paula Hawkins
Notes and Favorites: I think I may have liked this book better than Girl on a Train. The assortment of quirky characters made it read like classic Agatha Christie but with modern twists and turns until the very last page.

APRIL
The month in which I am a slacker . . .

MAY
Don Quixote (abridged) by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Notes and Favorites: I had recently attended a recital where I heard a set of art songs about Don Quixote, and I decided to listen to an abridged version of his adventures. #Spontaneous!

JUNE
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey
Notes and Favorites: I especially liked the passages about Portland and the Columbia Gorge. I was a little less fond of how emasculated the male characters were by all of the women in the story.

Let's Explore Diabetes With Owls by David Sedaris
Notes and Favorites: Sedaris' hilarious account of his colonoscopy actually made me enjoy bathroom humor for the first time in my life.

The Woman in the Window by A. J. Finn
Notes and Favorites: Oh so much Hitchcock, and I loved it! It was the perfect read for my long plane rides to and from Europe this summer.

JULY
Calypso by David Sedaris
Notes and Favorites: I liked Sedaris' vulnerability in this book as he comes to terms with the deaths of family members and aging parents. He also writes about the way his relationship with his father evolved. Don't worry. It's not all sentimental. He is still the same irreverent author, just a little more grown up.

Educated by Tara Westover
Notes and Favorites: This book was offered at one of the local universities as a book study. What's better than getting to read a good book and receiving professional development credit for it? Plus, this book is partially about that isolated culture of survivalists that we Idahoans all wonder about from time to time . . . (every time I go east or north).

Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne
Notes and Favorites: I like to catch up on my children’s classics over the summer. I liked the first volume so much that I also decided to read the other three stories in the series.

AUGUST
The House at Pooh Corner by A.A. Milne
Notes and Favorites: Revisiting the friends in the Hundred Acre Wood was like cozying up with a blanket and a cup of coffee on a cold, rainy day. Beware of this one. It's the original Toy Story. I may have teared up at the end.

When We Were Very Young by A.A. Milne
Notes and Favorites: Charming collection of poetry related to the world of Winnie the Pooh

SEPTEMBER
Now We Are Six by A.A. Milne
Notes and Favorites: Again, a charming collection of poetry, with a few fun references to Pooh and his friends

OCTOBER
The Little Friend by Donna Tartt
Notes and Favorites: All three of Donna Tartt’s novels have completely different premises. The writing in all three books is Dickensian, but the characters and plot lines are nothing alike. This book had a very Flannery O’Connor, Southern Gothic feel. The Secret History is still my favorite Tartt though.

NOVEMBER
Matilda by Roald Dahl
Notes and Favorites: I saw the musical this summer, loved it, and realized I hadn't ever read the book. I loved this one, especially the teacher student relationship between Miss Honey and Matilda.

DECEMBER
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson
Notes and Favorites: I wanted a nice, quick Christmas read to end the season. I am a sucker for this one, the mother who believes in the "bad" kids and introduces them to "theater" (ha ha!), and everyone's lives are changed. Sounds like my type of book!

Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance
Notes and Favorites: This is not the type of book I would normally read, but I spent my elementary school years in Middletown, Ohio (where the book is set), and Ron Howard is making a movie of this book, some of it shot in my hometown.

I was a little reluctant to read it because Vance’s Middletown is not the one I remember, nor is it the one my husband and I experienced when we went back to visit.

A few pictures from my 2007 visit to Middletown: My hometown church, one of the houses I grew up in, the school I went to (under construction), and the tree I planted at the Arboretum. I was chosen to plant the tree because I had read the most Beverly Cleary books in my school.

But his book is an interesting look at a specific culture, and Vance is a little more open minded and empathetic than I expected a conservative investor to be.

In his new afterword, he admits he didn’t vote for Trump, which earned an instant bump in respect from me. It was also fun to recognize some of the schools, places, and surrounding towns he mentions.

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan.

Friday, January 03, 2020

Becky's Decade of Blogging

Everyone is talking about the end of the decade, and I thought, "Ooo! I should blog about that!"

I tried to blog about how much I have grown and how much my life has changed over the last decade, and it was daunting.

When you think about it, this was the first decade of true adulthood for my husband, Dan, and me. I guess some people consider early twenties #adulting, but that's debatable . . .

Actually, not much has changed because Dan and I chose not to have children.

So I cheated and chose ten blog posts from the last decade. Yes, I have been blogging for over a decade. #facepalm. I also learned about hashtags over the last ten years.

Back to my decade of blog posts . . .

I didn't have any criteria. I just chose one that jumped out at me from each year of the decade. Get ready for some blogging awesomeness!

2009

Taking the Facebook Plunge