Many years ago, this pacifist occasionally got a little rage-y behind the wheel. I got less so as I matured. Now, in middle age, I am proud to say I have officially mellowed out.
I didn't have a choice. Road rage doesn’t work anymore now that people are on their phones all the time.
Dear driver,
You’re not good at texting and driving. No one is. That is all.
Signed,
Someone sick of hearing people say, "But I know how to text and drive better than other people."
I occasionally try to shoot drivers dirty looks if I don't approve of something, but that just amounts to me looking like a crotchety old woman.
Of course, no one pays attention to me anymore.
Take the other night, for instance. I was tired of seeing this girl glance down at her phone while driving behind me. I finally got my chance to stare her down when she pulled up beside me at the next traffic light.
When she did finally look up from her phone, instead of feeling my eyes burning into her skull, she turned and vaped out the driver's side window, not even noticing my subtle displeasure.
On my Friday night commute, people kept squeezing their Hummers and Range Rovers in front of my poor little Hybrid. I tried to send them dirty look vibes through my windshield, but I think their attention was monopolized by all of the gadgets on their dash.
Whatever happened to the old days when you could mouth angry things at the guy tailing you? And he would pull up beside you and try to yell at you, and you would point to your ear and mouth, “I can’t hear you!” And he would throw trash out the window at you (because apparently, he has trash in his truck and doesn’t care about littering). And that evening, when you told your husband about the incident, he worried that you might get yourself shot because “This is Idaho, after all.”
Now, the dude in the truck has a phone in his hand, and he's not going to throw that at you. He isn't paying attention anyway.
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