When Shopping Turns Weird

Now that I am getting older, I am buying more embarrassing things, like over-the-counter things. You can probably guess the types of things I mean. (Nothing sexy. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

My last couple of shopping trips have been troubling. Cashiers are starting to comment on my purchases. I haven't been completely humiliated yet. So far, it's just been weird. I would much rather buy my shit and get out of the store.

I first encountered this trend at a local drugstore when the pre-pubescent checkout guy started giving a running commentary while ringing me up.

"Let's see. We've got some Biotrue eye stuff, some hair stuff, some makeup, some masking tape, nice variety."

Then he read the Star Wars themed Valentine's card I was buying for my husband, Dan.

"Good one," he chuckled.

He didn't say anything about my toenail fungus medication, thank goodness.

I would have chalked that up to an anomaly, except that the next weekend I was in Park City Utah, and the woman behind the cash register, started inquiring about my life.

"Are you from around here? No? Oh, Idaho. Boise! I like Boise. It's very pretty," then she lowered her voice. "I really like Idaho Falls."

I didn't respond. I had never met anyone who said, "I really like Idaho Falls." I was at a loss for words.

She stared at me intently, "I love the Temple there."

I think she may have winked, like some kind of code.

"Huh," I said. "I've never been to the Temple there."

A day or two later, Dan and I were using my bookstore gift cards from Christmas. We had decided to add copies of 1984 and Brave New World to our collection, having read them a long time ago. For our anniversary, I bought Dan a Brave New World t-shirt, and that prompted him to reread the book.

"Will they think we're weird, buying these two books at the same time?" Dan asked as we approached the counter.

"Nah, they'll just think we're edgy," I said. "An edgy, middle-aged couple."

Instead, the twelve-year-old girl (maybe this generation doesn't know how to talk to adults?) who checked us out gave us a treatise on the controversial nature of the two books and how they were considered groundbreaking at the time.

"Are you reading these for school?" she asked. (Maybe she didn't think we were middle-aged after all.)

"No, just adding them to our collection," I said.

"And rereading," Dan added.

This morning, I was stocking up on cold medications at the grocery store since I had gone through several of them this past week due to a head cold I had acquired while working in my petri dish classroom.

"Oh no!" said the clerk. "Are we not doing too well?"

Maybe I should stick to online shopping from now on.

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan.