The Night I Was Visited By a Snake, a Pig, and a Vampire

Many of my faithful readers know I recently jumped on The Walking Dead bandwagon. Yes, I am still watching the show. No, I am not sure how long I will be able to stand it because my sleep is suffering.

My husband, Dan, doesn't believe that The Walking Dead is causing my weird dreams. He points to all of the night terrors and strange issues that have plagued my sleep for years. But I know The Walking Dead is playing a role in unleashing my dormant anxieties. Take, for instance, last night. I had three odd dreams, back-to-back.

"You can't blame The Walking Dead," Dan insisted. "None of these dreams were about zombies."

They were WEIRD though.

DREAM #1: Snakes (or something)

I was a teenager again (unfortunately), and I came home from school to find out that my mother and father had decided we needed five snakes. These were not normal snakes. They seemed somewhat prehistoric and made this sound, "rarr, rarr, rarr," as they hopped up and down in their cage, which was way too small for them.

"Those aren't snakes. They look like they belong on Medusa's head," I said. "Don't look them in the eyes. You may turn into stone." (Apparently, I make mythological allusions in my dreams.)

The cage was way too small for them. One snake hopped out. Everyone in the house freaked out. The snake shape-shifted into something resembling a scaly-skinned poodle and hopped over to me.

"Rarr, rarr, rarr!"

I held still so as not to alarm it and waited for it to go away.

According to my dream dictionary, snakes mean you are about to be seriously betrayed.

"It also says snakes mean you are enslaved by sexual passion," Dan read. "I like that interpretation better."

"You would," I said. "Besides, the sexual thing is only if the snake coils around you. There was no coiling. Just, 'Rarr, rarr, rarr.'"

DREAM #2: Baby Pig

In my next dream, I was an adult again and attending a class where we were learning how to herd escaped pigs into a pen. I don't even know if that's a thing, but in my dream it was. I picked up a baby pig, and I held it and cried and cried. I couldn't stop thinking that this cute baby pig who just wanted to run around and play would have to be confined to a pen. I couldn't stop crying. I woke up from this dream for a moment and was actually crying in my bed. I am still tearing up right now just thinking about the overwhelming sadness I felt.

My dream dictionary says pigs are bad news for work but good news for the family. Maybe Dan will get laid off at work, but we'll get to move somewhere fun like Portland or Seattle (or Canada if a certain orange-faced reality show star gets elected as president).

DREAM #3: Vampire With a Gun

In my third dream, I ran into a vampire I had dated a long time ago. It must have been a bad breakup because he was not happy with me. (I don't know what I did. This dream started in medias res.) He pointed a gun at me. It seemed unnecessary since . . . well . . . he was a vampire and could just drink my blood if he wanted to kill me. Love won out though, and he decided he liked me again. I don't know where Dan was in all of this.

"These dreams are not about The Walking Dead," Dan said the next morning. "Besides, you're reading a book about vampires right now."

(I am. My friend wrote a book. You should read it too.)

"The dream dictionary says a vampire means, 'You are full of fears for the future,'" I told Dan and then added, "of your husband losing his job."

"Where does it say that?" Dan said.

"Well, it doesn't say that last part, but it does say I am full of fears for the future."

"Becky," he said with a sigh, "that just sounds like your regular neurotic self."

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