It's Nesting Season (RE-POST from 4/26/14)

Last weekend, my husband, Dan, was chased by a goose during our morning run. I noticed the goose was hissing and bobbing his head up and down and quickly crossed to the other side of the street. Dan stared him down and hissed back because that's what "they" tell you to do, the alpha dog thing, you know. It didn't work. The goose charged at Dan. It reminded me of this post from 2014. Enjoy!

Living in Boise during the spring nesting season is kind of like starring in an Alfred Hitchcock movie, except the Canadian Geese that take over this city are not very graceful. And they leave a lot of green poop behind.

You might think, "They're just birds. How bad can it be? They can't really do anything to you."

But you would be wrong. They don't care that humans are the bigger species and that we could wring their little necks with our bare hands. They will attack anything that appears to be moving. Geese are bullies, especially when they are protecting their nests.

They don't go out into the wilderness to nest. They nest in parks, near ponds, by rivers. Wherever there are people enjoying the beautiful outdoors, there will be a nesting goose.

From the stories my husband, Dan, tells, I am pretty sure most of Boise's Canadian Geese hang out at his place of employment. He has had many run-ins with the strange creatures.

When we were dating, the first story Dan ever told me was a crazy goose story. He was walking to his car, and these two geese were flying low. When they saw him, they swooped down and almost knocked him over before they flew back up overhead. In other words, the geese "buzzed" my husband.

Another time, Dan was driving through his work parking lot. He was in a moving vehicle, you'd think the safest place possible. Not so. A fearless (but stupid) goose charged at Dan's car, forcing him to swerve out of the way.

The other place one can be attacked by geese if one desires is the Boise Greenbelt. For instance, I was on a very populated stretch of the path the other day, and I walked by three geese guarding one female. Every time people would pass, the bouncer geese would puff up and ruffle their feathers, as if that looks intimidating to us sentient beings.

Dan and I go running near his work on the weekends. Once during a run, we met "The Exorcist Goose." He flipped his head around on his neck, glared at us from his contortionist-like upside down position, and hissed at us as we jogged by.

That was enough to make me do some research on how to deal with these suicidal, possibly demon-possessed waterfowl. It turns out that dealing with aggressive ganders is similar in technique to dealing with cougars, which I absolutely never want to have to do.

1. Look it in the eye.
2. Calmly and slowly back away.
3. Act naturally.
4. Give nesting geese room.

You should never panic, run away, or turn your back on aggressive geese. However, I do all three of these things on a regular basis, considering most of my goose encounters occur while running.

Last weekend, Dan and I were out running again, and we heard this post-apocalyptic chorus of geese as we approached the final pond on our route. Then we heard hissing to our right.

There it was, an unhappy protector goose waddling swiftly toward us.

"I'm looking him in the eye, and it's not helping!" I shouted. (Oh yeah. You're also not supposed to yell frantically when approached by geese.) "What should we do?"

According to the goose experts, we probably should have talked to it calmly and backed away slowly, all the while maintaining eye contact.

Here's what we actually did.

We ran faster.

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