A Short Ditty On Cavities

I don't have a lot of funny stuff to say this week. Shocking, I know. I think I'll just tell you about my trip to the dentist because trips to the dentist are hilarious.

During this particular visit, I had to get a cavity filled. I had been doing so well. The dentist used to find cavities in my teeth all the time, and I was given several lessons on flossing and brushing techniques. For a while, I thought I had crappy teeth.

But I finally listened to my hygienist, and I had not gotten a cavity for a few years. Technically, this was a cavity that had to be refilled. Only new cavities count against my healthy teeth record.

The last time I got a cavity filled, it was on the upper right side. The Novocaine didn't wear off for eight hours.

"You look awesome, like some kind of sci-fi character!" my husband, Dan, said.

I looked like a stroke victim and scared my students to death when I got back to school. That is power.

My teeth are not completely straight, but they are nice and white, and I only have to use white strips on occasion, even though I am addicted to caffeinated beverages. My dental hygienist says I am one of the lucky ones.

So, anyway, I got this cavity filled.

I am ninety-percent sure my dentist keeps a file on all of his clients because everyone knows stuff about me. It doesn't matter if the hygienist is completely new and has never played around in my mouth in my life. He/She always asks me about my husband who works at HP, my job as a music teacher, or whether or not I am in any theater productions.

I have tried to get Dan to switch to my dentist because his employees are much more laid back than the people in Dan's dental office. Those hygienists have Dan super freaked out about gingivitis.

This time, though, the dental assistant must have looked at the wrong file.

"You ride Harleys, don't you?" she asked me.

"No . . ."

"Oh, I thought someone said you ride Harleys."

"No, not me . . ." That's way too hip for me, I thought.

When I was numbed out and ready to go, the dentist sat down beside me and asked, "So, are you excited?"

"No," I said.

I added a nervous laugh because I didn't want to sound too negative. They are always so nice to me.

The filling went fine. The Novocaine did not last for eight hours this time. I returned to school that afternoon with a perfectly normal countenance.

So sad, though, that I didn't get to scare my students with my alien face this time.

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