It's Always the Little Dogs (Sigh)

I have learned one important lesson on my daily jogs - stay away from the little dogs. I have concluded that little dogs suffer from what I like to call "Small Dog Syndrome," not unlike "Napoleon Syndrome (a.k.a. Small Man Syndrome)," although little dogs are probably not quite as destructive as little men.

I have been chased relentlessly by rat terriers, Chihuahuas, and miniature schnauzers. (One of my neighbors owns four mini schnauzers. Now that will keep you busy.) These little ones scamper after me and yip at me from their fenced backyards, making them virtually harmless and kind of cute.

In the not-so-cute vein, one summer morning I was running down one of my neighborhood streets. I happened to pass a woman who was gardening in her front yard while her dachshund stood guard. I ran by, on the sidewalk, a comfortable distance from the house. The wiener dog waddled up to me as I approached, his short stubby legs pitter-pattering along the grass. I thought perhaps he wanted to greet me, maybe even compliment me (in doggie language) on my healthy lifestyle. Instead, he bit me on my shin and (I swear) nodded his head in satisfaction as he shuffled back to his front yard.

"AGGGHHH!" I exclaimed, startled, expecting an apology or hoping, at the least, for a reaction from the dog owner who had, incidentally, been watching the entire event unfold.

She shrugged and turned back to her gardening.

I had a bruise on my shin for the rest of the week.

I found the mental image of the wiener dog waddling up to me and attacking the highest, reachable body part - my shin - quite amusing. I had been nipped at once before by a mini poodle named Huckleberry. "Huckleberry, don't," was his owner's unconvincing, whiny plea, so I was also used to people not taking responsibility for their pets.

But when I posted this most recent anecdote on Facebook, I was amazed at the outrage this elicited from fellow dog owners.

"Bad dog-owner!" they said. "Who lets their dog bite someone and then not even apologize for it?"

Apparently, the proper response to that question is, "The woman who lives around the corner from me and gardens in her front yard while her dachshund acts as sentinel . . . Oh, and the man who walks his pugs through the park behind my house."

I was jogging on a sidewalk that runs through my neighborhood park. I saw a gentleman walking three pugs that were barreling down the path, so I moved to the side, onto the grass, to give the dogs more room. I had no cause for concern. I was giving them plenty of space, and they were on a leash.

I repeat - they were on a leash.

Then the pug closest to me reached out, bit my heel (which was, luckily, protected by my tennis shoe), and gave one of those raspy, pug-gy growls. I glanced at the owner in dismay. He said nothing.

"Geesh," I muttered, half-hoping I was audible enough for him to hear. "Your dog's not that cute."

I've learned my lesson. Let me share it with you.

If you see a little dog, just assume that it suffers from Small Dog Syndrome, a serious, mental disorder that causes the smaller canine breeds to act out in irrational and ferocious ways.

And run the other direction.

Check out my writing in An Eclectic Collage Volume 2: Relationships of Life, now available at www.freundshippress.com. For more information, visit the book's Facebook page.