The school year started off with a crazy bang. Now that I am three weeks in, I think I have finally compiled more funny-ha-ha stories than funny-UGH stories. So . . . Here. We. Come. Ready or Not!
A couple of weeks ago, my husband, Dan, sent me off with a Latte With Love and the new Ex Hex album he had sneaked onto my computer.
In Kindergarten, We Walk
The first week, I giggled every time I heard a kindergarten teacher say, "We're just walking. That's all!"
I could just imagine what the sojourn down the hall looked like at that moment.
No Snacks in Junior High
Also during the first week, some of my former students, big tough junior high boys, visited me after school. They immediately found their old riser seats.
"Hey, guys! Let's sit in our old spots!" they said.
They reminisced over the Mary Poppins pictures hanging on my wall. I asked them how junior high was.
"Good," one of the boys said, "except they don't give you snacks."
Mrs. Duggan Laughs
I laughed at something silly one of my first graders did. I can't even remember what he did that was so funny, but he turned to me and said, “Is that your evil laugh?”
Now that was funny.
Channeling Cardi B
We were singing "Oh My Aunt Came Back" in one of my classes, and a third grade student made the best Cardi B "okuurr" sound right in time with music.
I asked the kid's older sister if he listens to Cardi B a lot.
"No! Not at all!"
A few days later, she asked me if her brother was still making Cardi B sounds in music.
"Not lately. Now he just says 'sizzle!' when he plays a quarter rest."
In Which I Mention Weird Al and Am Met With Blank Stares
I was talking about parodies of songs, and I dropped Weird Al's name as being a famous writer of parodies.
"Who is Weird Al?" one of my sixth grade students asked.
Before I could answer, another boy answered, "He wrote the Captain Underpants song."
Katy Perry's Mom
Throughout the years, I have been told I look like Katy Perry.
For the first time in my career, this week one of my first graders told me, "You look like Katy Perry's mom."
I Wish I Had . . .
One of my fifth grade students was irritated with another kid in class. The classroom aide moved the fifth grader away from the other kid.
"AGGH!" the fifth grader shouted. "I wish I had stripes and a wand!"
"So do I," the aide said.
"Yeah," I agreed. "That sounds pretty cool."
VSCO Girl
Have you heard of this VSCO girl trend? I hadn't either until one of my middle school teacher friends mentioned it.
"Maybe it hasn't hit elementary school yet," I said.
"Yeah, maybe," my friend said. "When you start hearing them make the 'sk' sound repeatedly, you’ll know it’s hit."
Fast-forward twenty-four hours later . . .
I took a drink from my Hydroflask during one of my sixth grade classes. (VSCO girls like Hydroflasks, apparently.) All of a sudden, I heard a chorus of whispers.
"HYDROFLASK! sk sk sk sk . . ."
I might need something a little stronger in my Hydroflask this weekend.
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