In Jill's Words

I dedicate this site to my mother. She was a columnist and an author with the uncanny ability to find humor in the daily ins and outs of life. She faced every challenge with a witty optimism, including the cancer that ended her life too soon.

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Location: Boise, Idaho, United States

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Jumping On The Walking Dead Bandwagon

I recently jumped on The Walking Dead bandwagon. My most faithful readers may remember that I resisted watching the show when my husband, Dan, started binge-watching the episodes on Netflix a few years ago.

I have only watched the first season and a half, but I'm pretty sure it's just a soap opera with a few zombies thrown in to pacify the anti-soap-opera folks.

In other words, Dan has been tricked into watching a soap opera for six seasons. He will never be able to make fun of my mild General Hospital addiction again. They even started the show off with the man-in-a-coma and my-best-friend-slept-with-my-wife tropes. To make this clear to Dan, I have been doing my best "The Californians" impression from SNL right in the middle of watching Walking Dead episodes.

"Shane, wwhhaat are yyyyou doing here-ah?"

My spot-on SNL impressions alleviate the tension because watching this show is totally stressful. When I posted that I had finally been convinced to watch The Walking Dead, so many of my Facebook friends commented on how much anxiety this show causes. Some of my friends quit watching mid-season. Other friends never started because, like me (until now), the sounds from their husbands' screens grossed them out too much.

I haven't been able to stop watching. It is like a train wreck. It would probably be less traumatizing if I looked away, but I can't. So I live with a sleep disorder instead. Here are the dreams, nightmares, and terrors from the first week I watched The Walking Dead.

Night 1: Weird Apocalypse Dream
I had a weird dream about the Apocalypse, although it wasn't a zombie apocalypse. Actually, the Apocalypse hadn't even happened yet. It just loomed in the future.

For some reason, all of the progressive liberals were fleeing to colonize a different universe. I decided not to leave the job I loved (even though it meant I had to stay behind with a bunch of conservatives).

I knew the Apocalypse would happen sometime, and I figured there was no use worrying about it. It's not like my dream gave me an exact timeline or anything.

"That’s a very sensible way of looking at the Apocalypse," Dan said the next morning. "Now what exactly did that have to do with The Walking Dead?"

Night 2: Night Terror
"Don't tell me everything is okay!" I yelled over and over at Dan.

I have no recollection of this, but Dan said I kept yelling this at him in different voices which could have been pretty funny if you think about it. Like, what if I was yelling it at him as Minnie Mouse? Hilarious!

Night 3: Chased By Zombies
Then I had a nightmare about being chased across a field by zombies, and I ended up hiding behind a pew in a church with a bunch of random strangers.

"That would be cool!" Dan said.

Night 4: Drug Ring
The next night, I dreamt Dan was shooting up heroin. In fact, he was doing heroin with a bunch of different people, and I couldn't get him to stop.

"Becky, that was the news story about the heroin problem in Idaho you fell asleep to," Dan told me when I woke up. "Your dreams have nothing to do with The Walking Dead. You just dream about whatever you see right before bed."

According to Dan, The Walking Dead goes to a crazy place. He has also indicated that it is one of those Game of Thrones-esque shows that kills off favorite characters indiscriminately. Awesome. I have already teared up a few times. (No judging! It is a soap opera after all!)

Like I said, I have only gotten through the first season and a half. I'm not sure I will be able to last much longer due to potential worsening of my already neurotic sleep disorders. But, hey, let's have another discussion when (and if) I catch up.

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