Monday, May 20, 2013

End of the Year Funnies

In April, school morale was slipping, and I wrote "Focusing on the Funny Stuff" in an effort to make it through the rest of my year. I am happy to say that I have almost made it, and I am still in pretty good spirits. Turns out, focusing on kids and the hilarious things they say and do is the medicine for the spring blahs.

So here are a few more anecdotes that will be getting me through these final nine days:

Pasta Dancing
A couple of weeks ago, I taught my second graders how to salsa, and it was a huge hit with both the boys and the girls. Ever since, the kids have asked to salsa dance at least once per class.

One little boy asked, "Are we going to do pasta today?"

"Pasta?"

"You know, the pasta dance?"

"I think he means 'salsa' dancing," another kid translated.

Who's the Boss?
For teacher appreciation week, the whole faculty received sheriff badges. I wore mine in all of my classes. During the afternoon kindergarten, there was a dispute between two of the kids.

"My mom says I'm the boss," one little girl said to another boy.

"But you have to sit on that dot!" the boy said.

I approached the two squabblers.

"My mom says I'm the boss," the little girl reiterated to me.

"See this sheriff badge?" I pointed to my shirt. "That means I'm the boss."

The kids stared blankly at me and sat down.

Have You Ever Seen a . . .
I was singing "Down by the Bay" with my first graders on Friday. The students were supposed to generate rhymes for the final phrase (i.e. "Have you ever seen a whale with a polka-dotted tail?").

"Have you ever seen a ninja . . . " one little guy started.

"I don't know if you're going to be able to come up with a rhyme for ninja, dude," I said.

". . . wearing a finja?"

All of the kids giggled.

"That's a good nonsense rhyme, but let's see if we can come up with real words."

I called on a boy raising his hand, hoping for a reboot with a completely new set of words.

"Have you ever seen a ninja wearing a ban-ninja?" he said without hesitation.

"That's not a word either," a girl said.

"Ban-ninja, huh? What's a ban-ninja?" I asked.

"I think it's a type of sweater," the boy stated somberly.

"Or maybe it's a banana ninja," said the kid who had originally started the ninja-rhyme discussion.

And just like that, I was in the middle of an AT&T commercial.


For more tales from this past school year, check out the following posts:
"How I Survived the First Week of School"
"How I Really Survive My School Year"
"When the Utopia Ends"
"Dan Goes to Choir Festival"


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