Longtime readers of this blog will recall that I have written posts about clumsy incidents in the past. Well, lucky you! I have yet another story to share.
During my most recent theater production, I did (what is now being called) a "Charlie Brown" backstage. If you can imagine attempting to kick a football, only to have it pulled away at the last minute, and landing flat on your back, you know what a "Charlie Brown" is.
The only difference was, there wasn't a football, and I'm not a cartoon character.
When the show opened that night, I thought my biggest problem would be winding up naked onstage. My dress had a defunct zipper that popped four times before curtain. Eventually, one of the costume helpers pinned me into the dress . . . really well. The zipper didn't even pop when I "Charlie Browned."
After one of my first entrances, I was walking backstage to help change another character when both of my feet slipped on my ballgown costume and slid out from underneath me, causing my body to land in this order:
Tailbone, elbow, head.
I hopped up as quickly as I could, wanting to reassure everyone in the crowd quickly assembling around me that I was okay. I was in pain, but I felt very fortunate that my Gibson Girl wig had acted as a football helmet and had prevented me from getting a concussion.
I know this because I did get a slight concussion when I was seven. I was walking out of the grocery store with my mother, and I tripped and hit my head on the concrete. I couldn't remember my name, phone number, or address for a short period of time, and all I wanted to do was sleep.
I was alert, so I knew I didn't have one of those again. In fact, my adrenaline was pumping, and I was talking really fast, like I do in awkward social situations.
We had two former medics backstage, another serendipitous occurrence, and they were able to check my elbow for breaks. I spent my times offstage icing my elbow.
The next morning, my tailbone and lower back hurt the worst. The morning after that, the whiplash in my neck won the most-painful-part-of-my-body award.
One of the women in the show brought me some essential oil products the day after my "Charlie Brown." She made me drop my pants and proceeded to rub the stuff all over my ass. It was very soothing.
I have been living on Advil, Deep Blue, a kind of oil-blend Icy Hot, and white fir essential oil ever since. I have a gross black and purple bruise on my butt. My husband, Dan, calls it my "tramp stamp."
I'm getting better though. It's been a week now, and I think I might finally be up for a run this weekend.
One of my fourth graders was talking to me about head injuries the other day. I'm not sure why we were discussing this subject, but it seemed appropriate after my week.
"I'm surprised I haven't had a concussion," she said dramatically. "I've hit my head sooo many times!"
I sighed and rubbed my back.
"Careful what you wish for," I warned.
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