The Joy of Caller ID

Dan and I finally did it. We finally broke down and ordered caller ID. After all, we are living in the 21st century.

Before you ask, yes, we both have cell phones. We bought those about three years ago. And our cell phones have all sorts of neat features - caller ID, call waiting, text messaging (which I still have yet to figure out), speed dial.

But at home, when our phone would ring during our pre-caller ID days, we would freeze, drop whatever we were doing, and stare at the receiver in apprehension.

"Should we answer it?" I'd ask.

"I don't know. Should we?" Dan would reply.

"I don't know. Is it a real person or a telemarketer?" I'd say.

Just so you don't think my husband and I are totally primeval, we are on the no-call list. Apparently, the no-call list does not keep telemarketers from calling people who already utilize the services about which the telemarketers are calling (i.e. credit card companies, banks, etc.).

Anyway, by the time Dan and I would decide whether or not to answer the phone, the answering machine would pick up the call, and we'd race into the bedroom, waiting to hear either a familiar voice or a dial tone.

When greeted by a dial tone - no one ever calls us anyway - I'd say, "What if it was Grandma? She doesn't always leave a message."

Then I would dial *69. The missed call was always a toll free number, obviously not my grandmother but a telemarketer.

I think it was the enormity of the *69 charges on our phone bill that finally prompted us to get caller ID.

With the caller ID package, we also received a second feature called call waiting, such a practical necessity in this day and age, as if one phone call at a time is not enough.

Actually, in case you didn't catch my facetious tone, I despise call waiting. There's nothing that frustrates me more than being in mid-sentence (which is my most natural state) and having someone say, "Can you hang on? I've got another call."

I expect to be put on hold when I call the electric company but not when I'm talking to a friend. Most call waiting doesn't play jazzy elevator music either, so holding while waiting to talk to one's friend is not nearly as entertaining as holding while waiting to talk to the electric company.

Needless to say, I don't use call waiting. I just let the line beep at me if someone's trying to call when I'm on the phone. That rarely happens. Like I said, no one ever calls us.

Caller ID, however, has proven to be a welcome addition to our telephone service. Now when the phone rings, Dan and I gather at our phone, stare at the receiver in apprehension, wait for the identification of the caller to appear on the tiny digital screen, and breathe a sigh of relief.

"Toll Free. Let the answering machine get it."