Funniest Stories Thus Far

 

It's that time of year again, time to let you all know how hilarious my job can be before I get old and jaded and tired. 

 

Of course, that's impossible in my line of work. Like the poster on my classroom wall says, "Music Keeps You Young."

 

One of my kindergartners, who is a born contrarian, is always asking, "Why? Why?" or even saying, "No!" instead of following directions.

 

He was told by Copy Cat (my singing cat puppet) that he needed to do what Mrs. Duggan said or he wouldn't get a high five at the end of class. 

 

Suddenly, he looked very serious and said quietly,  “Sorry, Copy Cat.”

 

He had no more behavior problems for the rest of the class . . . at least on that day. 

 

I called on one of my first graders who was patiently raising her hand, and she announced, "When I marry Sonny, I want to be a music teacher." 

 

Sonny, who was sitting next to her at the time, just grinned.

 

This is not the first time she has said she wants to be a music teacher. This is the first time she proclaimed she is marrying Sonny. (Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

"You have a long time to decide who you want to marry," I told her. 

I think she might be serious about the music teacher thing though.

 

One day,  I sang my typical, "Criss-cross applesauce, pizza pepperoni sauce, ice cream with chocolate sauce, bottoms on your dots" to one of my kindergarten classes.

 

They immediately sang back to me, without hesitation and in perfect pitch, “Mrs. Duggan’s hungry.” 

 

How did they come up with that?! Spontaneously and collectively like that?!  

 

On Monday, I mentioned the Labor Day holiday to my 6th graders. One girl approached me at the end of class.

 

"Is somebody having a baby?" she asked quietly and looked at me like I had a special secret.

 

"Do you think I'm having a baby?" I asked her. My shirt was little large on me. 

 

"Well, you said something about labor." 

 

Sigh of relief! I'm probably past childbearing age.

 

"Oh! Labor Day is a holiday that celebrates workers because 'labor' can also mean hard work."

 

I didn't tell her that's why it's called "going into labor," because it's the hardest work.

 

We were playing a getting-to-know you game, and every year I choose a fun pop song as part of the activity. I tried so hard to find a current song, maybe by Sabrina Carpenter or Taylor Swift. 

 

But I gave up and played a Weezer song instead because I'm a ride-or-die GenX-er. 

 

And so many kids said to me, "Mrs. Duggan, WHAT SONG IS THIS? It's awesome!" 

 

GenX music is The. Best. You've just been schooled, kids.

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