In Jill's Words' New Year's Un-Resolutions

Apparently, the nature of New Year's resolutions has changed since the 19th century. What used to be an exercise in self improvement - helping others, working harder, etc. - has morphed into an egocentric pursuit mostly focused on poor body image, a transformation that I am sure Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig are more than happy to perpetuate.

In my (extensive five-minute) research on the topic, the top ten most popular resolutions still tend to include some altruistic goals - learn something new, spend more time with family and friends, enjoy life more - blah, blah, blah- how beautiful.

I find it funny that "spend more time with family . . . " and "enjoy life more" a.k.a. (according to some resolution resources) "reduce stress" are listed together. Can you really be expected to reduce stress in your life and spend more time with your family? (I'm joking, all of my family members who are collectively groaning. Please, no angry e-mails or texts. Put the phone down! Put it down!)

As I compiled my own list, I noticed that most of my resolutions contained a "not." I don't know what that could mean. Maybe I am an extremely negative person. Or maybe there are a lot of things in my life that need to stop.

Whatever the case may be, I have decided to call this my official "New Year's Un-Resolutions List."
Considering that 88% of New Year's resolutions fail, most of the items on my list are such that the success rate will not make or break me.

In 2013, I will:

1. Not lose weight.
Maybe a little reverse psychology will work this year.

2. Not discuss politics with people who claim to be "apolitical."
Anyone who claims to be apolitical should not espouse so many political opinions, especially opinions that contradict mine. (If you think this is a veiled reference to you, you are probably right.)

3. Not make any new friends.
I saw "make new friends" on a couple of popular resolutions lists. I thought it would be fun to not make any new friends this year. It's not like a need a bunch of new friends right now. I guess if I do make new friends, it won't be that big of a deal though. 

4. Try to convince my husband not to buy so many MP3s.
Ever since Dan discovered the Amazon daily deals, we have so much new music. If it is under $5.99, it is probably on our Cloud, even if it is "Pavarotti Sings Disco." There is no way I can listen to all of the music that has magically appeared on my iPod.

5. Not have children. 
Sorry, everyone. Of course, there might be a little more at stake if this one fails.

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