I Totally Have Issues

Guys, I totally have issues.

If you have been reading my blog for a while now, you have probably figured this out. You might remember that I suffer from the occasional night terror. That lovely neurosis evolved from my childhood sleepwalking habit.

I also have weird dreams about my teeth chipping away and falling out. My scariest recurring dream is the "Out-Of-Control Classroom" where I resort to throwing erasers and screaming at the kids because they just won't listen. (I would never do that, by the way. Please don't get me fired!)

I can recall most of my dreams with such vivid detail that one of my friends bought me a dream dictionary several years ago, maybe to prevent me from constantly asking her, "What do you think that means?"

And, yes, I do have naked dreams. Why wouldn't I have naked dreams? We have already established that I totally have issues.

Usually, these dreams start out with me believing that being naked is the newest fashion trend, that it's perfectly acceptable to walk around nude. Then I realize it isn't, and I try to magically manifest clothes on my body, but this doesn't work. No one points out my lack of clothes, but people give me lots of strange looks.

Not too long ago, I dreamt about being naked while dancing on stage because, in dreamland, I thought we were supposed to dance naked on stage. But no one else was dancing naked onstage. A few seconds later, I looked down, and I was wearing a shirt and underwear.

"Well, that's better," my dream self said with a sigh of relief, and I kept dancing.

At the time of the dream, I was performing in a theater production. And, no, I never went onstage naked during the run of the show.

"You know, naked dreams usually mean you are experiencing anxiety about something," one of my cast mates said.

He was right.

According to my dream dictionary, naked dreams signify "anxiety and vulnerability."

Another online source puts it this way:

Becoming mortified at the realization that you are naked in public, reflects your vulnerability or feelings of shamefulness . . . You are exposed and left without any defenses. Thus your naked dream may be telling you that you are trying to be something that you really are not. Or you are fearful of being ridiculed and disgraced.

Other reasons I may have naked dreams include:

• Afraid of being exposed
• Shame with yourself
• Guilty in a situation
• Vulnerable with friends, business or relationship
• Trying to be something that you are not
• Not comfortable with your body
• Scared of being noticed

"I have night terrors too," I told my cast mate. "What do those mean?"

I was told that night terrors are, apparently, a real sleep disorder. In other words, I totally have issues. And I'm totally screwed.

"It means you're a mess," my theater friends said. "But we love our mess."

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan.