Funny Kid Stuff (or So Begins the School Year)

The first thing I realized a few weeks ago, as the summer drew to a close, was that I would have to stop swearing so much. I develop bad habits when I am not around children. But I am glad to report that nothing has slipped out yet, and I have been back in Elementary School Teacher Mode for almost four weeks now.

If you have been reading my blog for a while, you know that my job is entertaining at times. And I have once again collected my share of interesting anecdotes over the first month of school. Here are a few of my favorites to start off the year.

1. Just Making Sure You're Aware, Mrs. Duggan . . . 
I was standing outside my classroom door, which happens to be next to the boys' and girls' bathrooms, when a kindergartner wandered up to me.

She announced (not in her "inside voice"), "I have the boys' pass, but I'm using the girls' bathroom because the other pass is gone, and I REALLY have to go potty!"

2. When in Doubt, Call Me Mommy . . .
I have my name posted by the music room door, and I was showing the second graders where to find it because kids tend to forget my name from time to time.

One little girl had her own solution to this problem.

“Once I got confused and called you ‘Mommy.’ Remember?” she said.

3. Take the Bucket With You . . . 
During the first week of school, the kids started dropping like flies. You know the stomach flu is going around an elementary school when children walk to the nurse's office, carrying a trash can under their chins.

4. No Laughing Matter . . . 
As I was heading to my car after school, one little boy walked past me with his mother.

He greeted me with, "I think I got centipede poop on my nose!"

His mother immediately said, “You were just told not to say that word anymore! That is not funny! Do you understand me? You are not being funny!”

I actually thought it was a little funny. But I also don't have to listen to him talk about poop twenty-four-seven.

5. Philosophical Discussions About Underwear . . .
I was reading Froggy Goes to School by Jack London to my first graders. In it, Froggy goes to school in his underwear, but then he wakes up and discovers that it was just a dream, and all of the kids in the class breathe a sigh of relief.

This year, one of my boys was very concerned, “But what if it was real?” 

"It wasn't real though. It was just a dream," I explained.

"But what if it wasn't a dream? What if it was real?"

"I guess he'd be pretty embarrassed. I think his mom and dad would stop him before he got on the bus. Don't you?"

"I don't know . . ."

6. More Truth To This Than You Think . . .
I always get the most interesting answers to the question, "Why are we learning music?"

This year, one of my students responded with, "Just in case we want to be 'magicians' when we grow up."

That's actually more accurate than you know, kid . . .

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