Becky's Mixed Metaphors (Guest Blogger: Dan Duggan)

I admit, the title is a little misleading. It's still Becky here. I tried to get my husband Dan to be my guest blogger. He has been taking notes on this particular topic for the last few months, but the other day, he handed his notes to me and said, "Here, you write it. I just want you to make fun of yourself rather than me for a change."

I have no problem making fun of myself, and since Dan had already done most of the "research," I was willing publish his findings.

Ever since we married, Dan has been amused by my ability to massacre proverbial statements, maxims, aphorisms, idiomatic phrases - basically anything that requires analogous thought. So Dan, always the methodical observer, started making a list. Here are all of the metaphors I have (completely unintentionally) mixed up over the past several weeks. I have included what I was trying to say in parentheses. (Dan had to help me with those.)

1. Cast the first stone glass house! (People who live in glass houses shouldn't cast stones.)

2. What? Do you live like a farm animal? (Were you raised in a barn?)

3. With all things, God is possible. (With God, all things are possible.)

4. Hello, Teapot. Meet Kettle. (That's the pot calling the kettle black.)

5. He would be rolling in his grave (about someone who is still living).

6. He's a Molly One-Note. (He's a Johnny One-Note.)

7. It's like a punchline in the face. (It's like a punch in the face.)

8. Barefoot and naked (Barefoot and pregnant)

9. Duck out of water (Fish out of water)

10. Cherry-coat it (Sugarcoat it)

I have tried to explain to Dan that, often times, I am purposely messing up these sayings for literary emphasis. He is not buying it. Guess I had better go clean that milk off my face . . .

Oh wait, Dan just said the correct farm product is "egg."

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan

Check out more of my work in: