Who Knew Showering Could Be So Disconcerting?

I have begun taking my showers at my night rather than in the morning. I started doing this in September, around the start of the new school year. I had several reasons for changing my showering habits.

1. During the school year, I usually work out in the evening. It's nice to go to bed refreshed - as opposed to sticky - after a 5K or an hour of Zumba.

2. It cuts about fifteen or twenty minutes off my morning ritual. This is especially important on my before school choir mornings. I am all about simplifying my life right now.

3. I'll let you in on a little secret. I have a couple of minor neuroses, as if you hadn't already guessed. For example, I suffer from night terrors. If you have ever followed the comedy of Mike Birbiglia, you have an idea of what I experience occasionally (on a smaller scale, thank goodness).

Anyway, showering at night has helped me wind down before bed. Consequently, I have had fewer night terrors since the school year began, and the first months of school are often my most stressful, night-terror-filled times of the year.

These three significant positives were enough to convince that it was time to change my showering schedule.

However, my husband, Dan, was not so enthusiastic. And I couldn't figure out why. Dan doesn't emote about anything. His response to almost every question I ask is, "Sure, if you want to."

Here is a sample conversation:

Me: "Do you want to go to Johnny Carino's tonight?"
Dan: "Sure, if you want to."
Me: "Will you go with me to a romantic comedy next weekend?"
Dan: "Sure, if you want to." 
Me: "Are you willing to go to four Broadway shows when we are in New York?"
Dan: "Sure, if you want to." 
Me: "Do you want to have four kids by the age of thirty-five?"
Dan: "Sure, if you want to."
Me: "I don't want to."
Dan: "Okay, that's fine too."

But when I told Dan, "I'm going to take a shower now. Is it okay if I leave you to do the dinner dishes tonight?" his response was, "Yeah . . . I guess."

He does the dishes every night, so I knew his reluctance didn't have anything to do with this particular domestic chore. But I shrugged and took my shower anyway.

I noticed that he continued to reply hesitantly every time I brought up this new nightly ritual. One evening, I decided to pry a little deeper.

"I think I have found out how to sleep sans night terrors."

"How's that?"

"I shower at night. And then I put lavender oil on the nightstand. It helps me wind down."

"That's nice . . . I guess."

"Does that bother you?"

"What?"

"That I shower at night?"

Dan sighed, "No . . . not really."

"That's weird. With all of my personality quirks, my showering at night is what bothers you?"

"No, it doesn't bother me . . . really . . ."

"What's the problem, then?"

"Well, it's just . . . that's what my parents always did. They took their showers at night. Does that mean we're getting old?"

"I never thought about it," I said. "That's what my parents always did too. We are getting old!"

However old it makes me (or my husband) feel, I have continued taking showers at night - most of the time - at least the nights before my early choir mornings. But now that it's getting colder, I am starting to miss a hot shower in the morning. Of course, that could be because Dan turns the thermostat down to sixty every night. Now I wonder if there is an ulterior motive behind our Arctic bedtime temperatures.

For the latest blog updates, visit and "like" Rebecca Turner-Duggan

Check out more of my work in: