Buying gifts for my husband Dan can be quite a challenge. I am not the most creative gift-giver. Luckily, Dan prefers that I get him something off of his Amazon wish list. Dan and I are practical people and very opposed to gag gifts. So, although it doesn't lend itself well to surprise or spontaneity, at least I know that buying something off of his wish list guarantees satisfaction. But Dan has not added to this list since Christmas, and I am left to my own devices for Valentine's Day.
Now I am not going to tell you what I ended up getting Dan for Valentine's Day because he won't actually receive it until this Tuesday. As much as I value all of my readers, I won't spoil the surprise, as unsurprising as it probably is, for my husband. I am simply here to discuss my Valentine gift-giving dilemma.
I don't really care much for Valentine's Day. Our wedding anniversary is more meaningful as far as our "romantic journey" goes.
I have noticed that the greeting card company capitalizes on this stupid holiday by selling cards that say "To my husband, your love means more to me than anything in the whole entire world, you are my life, I do not know how I ever got by without you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . ." Am I really expected to buy a cheesy card that goes on for pages and pages for a man of as few words as my husband?
The other night, I was telling Dan about my disgust for the sappy sentiments in these cards.
"If you even consider buying a card that is sparkly and romantic-looking, you have to sift through poorly-written poetry about the sun rising and setting on your man, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . ." (Picture me moving my hand like a puppet during th, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.")
"That's why you buy a funny card and then write your own sweet, but short, message."
Dan, King of the One-Word Answers, emphasized the word "short." Like I said - practical man of few words.
While researching "romantic" ideas, crossing my fingers that I would not run across anything too humiliating, I found that the Valentine-Gifts-for-Men category included such priceless nuggets as "Customized Love Books for Couples," "Panty-grams for Him," "Romantic Coupon Books," "Ultimate Stock Car Ride-Along Experience," and "Microbrew of the Month Club."
Gag . . .
That's what I call from the Redneck Sublime to the Chauvinist Ridiculous.
Although I won't completely reveal my Valentine's secrets, I will say that I usually settle on food of some sort, mostly so that Dan can "share" his "gift" with me. But I always struggle with my aversion toward the exploitative labor practices of the Hershey's and Nestle corporations. So I spend a lot of time online looking for "green, responsible" chocolate and confections. (Then I sheepishly remember that I ate a handful of Hershey's Kisses in the faculty lounge yesterday.)
But it's the thought that counts, right? Besides, Valentine's Day is just a made-up holiday created by our consumer-driven, materialistic society to make single people feel slightly depressed. (Single people, please don't feel depressed. Valentine's Day is not that important to me either.) However, it is a good excuse to demand a pretty bouquet of flowers and an expensive dinner. That doesn't sound consumer-driven or materialistic at all, does it?
Now I am not going to tell you what I ended up getting Dan for Valentine's Day because he won't actually receive it until this Tuesday. As much as I value all of my readers, I won't spoil the surprise, as unsurprising as it probably is, for my husband. I am simply here to discuss my Valentine gift-giving dilemma.
I don't really care much for Valentine's Day. Our wedding anniversary is more meaningful as far as our "romantic journey" goes.
I have noticed that the greeting card company capitalizes on this stupid holiday by selling cards that say "To my husband, your love means more to me than anything in the whole entire world, you are my life, I do not know how I ever got by without you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . ." Am I really expected to buy a cheesy card that goes on for pages and pages for a man of as few words as my husband?
The other night, I was telling Dan about my disgust for the sappy sentiments in these cards.
"If you even consider buying a card that is sparkly and romantic-looking, you have to sift through poorly-written poetry about the sun rising and setting on your man, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah . . ." (Picture me moving my hand like a puppet during th, "blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.")
"That's why you buy a funny card and then write your own sweet, but short, message."
Dan, King of the One-Word Answers, emphasized the word "short." Like I said - practical man of few words.
While researching "romantic" ideas, crossing my fingers that I would not run across anything too humiliating, I found that the Valentine-Gifts-for-Men category included such priceless nuggets as "Customized Love Books for Couples," "Panty-grams for Him," "Romantic Coupon Books," "Ultimate Stock Car Ride-Along Experience," and "Microbrew of the Month Club."
Gag . . .
That's what I call from the Redneck Sublime to the Chauvinist Ridiculous.
Although I won't completely reveal my Valentine's secrets, I will say that I usually settle on food of some sort, mostly so that Dan can "share" his "gift" with me. But I always struggle with my aversion toward the exploitative labor practices of the Hershey's and Nestle corporations. So I spend a lot of time online looking for "green, responsible" chocolate and confections. (Then I sheepishly remember that I ate a handful of Hershey's Kisses in the faculty lounge yesterday.)
But it's the thought that counts, right? Besides, Valentine's Day is just a made-up holiday created by our consumer-driven, materialistic society to make single people feel slightly depressed. (Single people, please don't feel depressed. Valentine's Day is not that important to me either.) However, it is a good excuse to demand a pretty bouquet of flowers and an expensive dinner. That doesn't sound consumer-driven or materialistic at all, does it?
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